Tuesday, February 9, 2010

When bad chat-ups go badder

Saturday night I allowed myself a break from the boredom of moving and went to The Labor in Vain for a few. It was amazingly busy for the Labor, despite the fucking attrocious country music the Jessica Simpson wannabe lookalike DJ forced us to endure for the night. Still, was better than gangster rap and bling and bitches shakin their booties.

I was chatted up on the way back from the loo, which is always very romantic. Within minutes he told me he was vegetarian but was only doing it for a month because he was dared to do it. When questioned he said "Well, vegetarian is pretty wimpy, not very manly. And it's unhealthy." Swoon. I heart ignorant neanderthals.

I told him I was veg and "do I look unhealthy?" Christ, I looked a hell of a lot better than him AND he was stupid to boot. I excused myself from his failed chat-up and on the way back to my gang his mates grabbed me and intro'd me to some birthday boy whose hand I shook. Apparently, this isn't how you meet people these days. Someone grabbed my bum and someone else said "He doesn't want a handshake, he wants a handjob."

So anyone looking for a nice bloke, head to The Labor, there's plenty.


  1. hahaha

    unfortunately i don't think it is only in the Labor!!

    keep looking!

  2. was it this guy?


  3. Hahah nice one Grey, and even better with your comment on the article - exactly what I was thinking yet more eloquently put.

    Seitahn, it's a tragedy I tell you.

  4. Oh man, sounds terrible but hilarious at the same time! But Seitahn is right, happens every time I venture out to town in Auckland too (unless I drag along male friends for protection...and even then it happens!).

  5. Hahah oh I don't mind chat-ups, Christ, I'm single, I could do with them. But not offensive ones from ugly dropkicks thanks.

    And I haven't been out in Auckland for a looooong time, but memory tells me they didn't mention handjobs in their first comments to me.

  6. What do you mean, Toby? Isn't that modern day charm?